The Difference
by AnimateObsessive
Summary: Kakashi believes there is a difference between making love and having sex. One night, over drinks, he explains this difference to Sakura. Note: Very light KakaSaku shipping. One-shot.


Drinking with Sakura was not Kakashi's ideal plan for the evening, but he was willing to take things as they were. His ideal plan for the evening was absolutely nothing except his precious book and, if reasons presented themselves, perhaps a solitary stroll under the moonlight. He wasn't quite a fan of getting drunk, nor did he relish the thought of a hangover and several regrets due to a loosened tongue the following morning. The prospect of drinking with Sakura was especially undesirable this evening, as he'd been under the impression beforehand he was to be sharing his alcohol-fueled adventure with Naruto as well. But the third of their group had been called away at the last moment, leaving the pair of them to their drinks.

Despite the cheerful smile she gave him at his arrival, Sakura herself was not especially enthused by the prospect of an evening with Kakashi. While she liked and admired the man, she was forced to accept him as he was: Her former sensei, her current friend, and someone she rarely spent time with alone in relatively close confinement. It was always the three of them or, seldom but occasionally, the _four_ of them. She was not childishly intimidated by Kakashi Hatake anymore. But it was going to be a long evening, possibly one destined to piss her off.

"It's not very crowded tonight, is it?" Sakura commented.

She thought it prudent she at least make the effort to initiate a conversation. He most likely was not going to so much as grunt if she did not.

Kakashi shrugged, barely listening to her query. In truth, he was pleased it was not crowded. The idea of being swept into a mass of intoxicated strangers was not even slightly appealing, although he knew some people would have found the position highly attractive. But he was not one of those people and he was frankly baffled by those who were. Furthermore, he was a bit concerned that someone he knew might glimpse him and Sakura on what looked remarkably similar to a "date". However, the true root of his distress was the fact that he was somehow just now realizing he had left Make-Out Paradise at home.

Refusing to give in, Sakura made another attempt. She wanted to at least have an actual _conversation,_ even if she had to draw out his replies akin to someone drawing molasses out of a glass bottle.

"How has your week been?" she asked cheerfully. "Are you enjoying your day off?"

It pained her that she had, less than four minutes into their exchange, already reduced herself to the most cliché of questions. Fortunately, this time Kakashi was willing to give her the benefit of an actual verbal response.

"Its been raining," he replied indifferently.

The _weather!_ Somehow they were talking about the _weather!_ Sakura groaned inwardly, wondering how their conversation had gone utterly downhill immediately. She hadn't expected much from a man like Kakashi, but she had at the very least expected them to have an actual talk, rather than plunging to rock bottom.

"Ye-Yes, it has," she agreed reluctantly. "We had a big storm yesterday. It was kind of scary to see the weather change so drastically, wasn't it?"

"It's natural. If there's a calm, it has to be followed by a storm."

Sakura took a long sip of her drink, wishing she was already drunk. But this was only her first glass, therefore she was far from ascending into that wonderful state of intoxication in which she wouldn't care about Kakashi's willingness to speak. Being utterly drunk out of her mind was preferable to discussing _the weather_ with _Kakashi Hatake._ So was banging her head against the table until she lost consciousness, for that matter.

"Have you seen a lot of storms, Kakashi-san?"

She was _still_ talking about the weather, she reflected sourly. It was going to be an endless night of drinking and discussing the most boring topics known to humans.

"I've seen enough," Kakashi responded. "I have to admit, I'm not keen on thunder and lightning."

He chuckled.

"Which, you must admit, is a bit of irony."

"Yeah," Sakura agreed, laughing slightly herself. "I thought you of all people would love storms."

She took another sip from her glass, her eyes roaming the bar. Her and Kakashi were among the very few patrons in the establishment. She noted one or two lone souls, whilst everyone else seemed to have decided to visit in pairs. Of these pairs, her and Kakashi were the most unique. The others, mostly comprised of two women or two men, were of people who appeared to be of equal age. Her gaze came to rest on the only other male-female couple present in the somewhat dimly lit bar.

"They look happy," she observed idly. "Do you think they're together, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi glanced at the couple who had attracted Sakura's interest. They were a young couple, he noticed, perhaps only halfway into their twenties like Sakura. Both conventionally attractive and filled with the spirit of youth. Civilians, he surmised. But he did not answer Sakura's question.

Sakura, seemingly uncaring about Kakashi's failure to respond, continued on her own strain of thought. She decided to at least _pretend_ she was drunk, in the hopes she'd fall so deeply into the illusion that she would shatter the barrier between reality and fantasy.

"It must be wonderful to be in love," she uttered blissfully.

Kakashi recalled that Sakura was currently single, a fact he normally did not volunteer any significant portion of his brain to remember. The love lives of his former students, albeit fashioned with many twists and turns, didn't interest him. Even _his own_ love life, or lack thereof, was a mundane point. If he desired romance in any form, he sought his books. Granted, the Make-Out Paradise series was quite liberal in its definition of "romance". A great deal of it seemed to involve an inordinate amount of erotic material.

In the past few years, Sakura Haruno's love life had been a tornado: Volatile, unexpected, aggressive, and often leaving behind scattered debris, both literally and figuratively. Sakura had been with several men, each relationship spanning only a month at the longest. At first she had been touched by the fact that many of the village's finer specimens had noticed her growth and aspired to be with her as a result. But in most cases, it turned out they had noticed her growth in all the wrong ways and had a different kind of "touching" in mind when they eyed her across the street. Sakura had blossomed into a beautiful, vibrant woman with a bright future. And she was beginning to hate it.

"I miss going on dates," she revealed, her tone sad. "The last guy I was with took me out about four times before he dumped me. We...we even had sex after the third date. I really thought he was into me!"

Kakashi cleared his throat, as if to remind her he was there. Or in a more likely case, to remind her that he wasn't Ino and therefore did not give the minimum amount of shit about her love life. He wasn't trying to be cruel, but he would have taken almost any subject matter over this: Make-up, shopping, hairstyles. Anything but a lengthy speech about Sakura's _love life._

"The sex was a mistake," Sakura continued, oblivious. "Maybe if I'd held out longer, I wouldn't have gotten hurt so easily. Men only care about one thing, don't they?"

Another clearing of the throat from Kakashi, again to remind her that he _was not Ino_ or any of her other female comrades. He certainly wasn't one of those amiable acquaintances of the fairer sex willing to exchange therapeutic claims of how men were "filthy pigs" who only thought about getting laid. He wished he had his book. He could have easily tuned her out and allowed her to empty out her heart in a passionate, stress-relieving rant.

"He kind of talked me into it, but apparently he didn't respect me enough to stick around very long after I gave in," Sakura uttered bitterly.

Her grip on the her glass tightened, her mind conjuring up vivid images of her last failed attempt at romance. A tiny, warning crack skittered up the side of the glass.

Wary, Kakashi attempted to change the subject before her anger took hold in earnest. Regardless of this not being his ideal evening, it was also not ideal for them to be thrown out and possibly banned if Sakura's anger, mixed with alcohol, came into prominence. He shuddered to imagine how many people, including him, would be sent to the hospital if that super strength of hers was involved.

"You're confusing sex and making love as the same thing," Kakashi told her abruptly.

Sakura, who had been preparing for a long, escalating rant about how all men were perverts, halted at Kakashi's words.

"They _are_ the same thing," she replied, shrugging.

Kakashi sighed at her ignorance. He sometimes had to remind himself that, despite her ascension in rank, there were still some things about love, romance, and the like she didn't comprehend. He couldn't fault her. It wasn't so much her age as it was her lack of true experience. She'd been in love with Sasuke for years and blind to anything else as far as love was concerned, then she'd transitioned into wanting to date every man who came within touching distance in order to get over the man she'd been chasing since she was a child.

"Sex is meaningless," he corrected her serenely. "Making love is something special that happens between two people who pledge their hearts to one another completely and without hesitation. Sex is absolutely nothing except a way to get off when you're in the mood. I could have sex with anyone, but only one person out of a thousand would I make love to."

Sakura laughed, a touch of nervousness in the sound.

"Anyone?" she echoed, amused. "You wouldn't have sex with _me,_ Kakashi-san."

Kakashi knew full well he was digging his own grave with his reply, but at this point he didn't care. A conversation was a conversation. Education, however late it was, was education. And Make-Out Paradise was Make-Out Paradise, which he didn't have to entertain him.

"If the circumstances were right, there's a chance it would happen," he informed her truthfully.

Sakura, caught between disgust and astonishment, almost spilled her drink. She had been raising the glass to her lips when he spoke. She returned it to the table with a slight clatter, the beverage unsettled by the unexpected impact.

"I'm not having sex with you!" she objected, appalled.

"I didn't ask you to," he replied patiently. "I was just saying, under the right circumstances..."

But Sakura interrupted him, indignant.

"And what circumstances could those possibly be?" she challenged.

He had already dug his own grave once, therefore digging it twice was not as daunting a task. However, Kakashi did not relish the idea of explaining himself. In fact, he was barely tolerant of the idea of talking to Sakura about sex or love-making in the slightest. He disliked it greatly when people spoke openly about their sex lives. No one of particular closeness to him committed this heinous act, but he had known men who enjoyed speaking of their most recent sexual encounters in great detail. As long as it was all consensual, Kakashi couldn't care less about when, where, and how two people had done it. And that was passing over the even worse fate of having to listen to the act _as it was going on_ because the two people he was with happened to have as much self-control as rabbits.

"If you were convinced you were about to die and were a virgin," Kakashi responded logically, with much hesitation. "Under those circumstances, you might ask me to do you a certain favor."

Sakura raised her eyebrow at his explanation. She hadn't expected _that_ for an answer. She'd anticipated some kind of perverted fantasy the likes of which would make a writer of erotic fiction blush and enough to make her break Kakashi's jaw. Instead, she found a particular question on her mind. A moment later, it was on her lips.

"Is this something you have personal experience with?" she asked, partly teasing.

The calm expression on Kakashi's visage as he nodded gave her pause.

"We were both shinobi," he uttered casually. "She was alone and thought for sure she was going to die without ever having been with a man. I happened to be the only guy around at the time. Luckily, there was a spare tent that could accommodate our needs."

He felt strangely dirty with even such a vague reveal. Unfortunately, the irony of this was completely lost on him. Kakashi was remembering that night, although many of the details had escaped him. He mentally cringed slightly at the memory. The fact that this woman had bluntly told him she was only doing this because she was almost certain this would be her last night alive and she probably would have chosen someone more attractive if she'd had the choice did little to boost his morale. And having her quite literally shouting at him every time he faltered for a second wasn't exactly "positive reinforcement". In the end, his performance had been less than satisfactory and he knew it even though the woman hadn't bothered to say it. He was glad she didn't die after all, but even more glad that they went their separate ways and hadn't spoken since that night.

"It's common among shinobi," Kakashi assured Sakura. "I'm surprised you're this ignorant of it."

Sakura bristled at being denounced as "ignorant", but she decided to ignore the insult.

"I missed a few of the sex education lectures because I was absent," she confessed, a bit embarrassed. "I mostly learned about….that stuff….from my friends."

Kakashi resisted the urge to chuckle at the mention of the "sex education lectures". He remembered having to sit through the exact same at some point in his life. Even at the height of his interest in such things, the lectures had managed to bore him and he had turned his mind to other things. He suspected he'd learned more about sex from his comrades and Make-Out Paradise than he'd ever learned during those lectures.

"This isn't the type of thing those lectures would cover," he replied. "It's not a topic people usually discuss. It's so accepted as the norm that talking about is useless. On the other hand, a lot of misinformation exists in those sex education lectures, so you shouldn't take it all at face value."

Sakura herself was beginning to marvel at her innocence. She had forgotten her drink entirely, having abandoned it. For the first time in the evening, she was less concerned with drinking away her boredom.

"Is it really _that_ common?" she inquired, curious.

Supremely wishing he hadn't brought it up, Kakashi nodded. He was in too deep to escape at this point.

"Sexual intimacy is a natural human desire," he pointed out. "When you're a shinobi, it's not so easy to come by unless it's with your comrades. Obviously, it's forbidden between teachers and students, but once you reach a certain rank it's all perfectly acceptable and expected. Men and women, men and men, women and women….. It's all common."

Her visage filled with surprise, Sakura leaned forward. She was more fascinated than she thought was strictly decent. She hadn't really dedicated any of her thoughts to this aspect of shinobi life. But now that Kakashi had revealed this vital information, she couldn't dismiss it. It all made sense to her as someone budding in the medical field. She wondered why such information had been absent from any of the medical manuals she had perused religiously.

"Even between people of the same sex?" she uttered, extremely interested.

Kakashi chuckled. He found Sakura's relative innocence somewhat amusing. He had thought a woman who had spent as much time indulging her own sexual wants as she most likely did would be far from innocent, but apparently experience was no indication of one's innocence.

"If you're really in the mood and no one of the opposite sex is around, you won't care whether it's a man or a woman," Kakashi replied. "It's more common between two men, but it also happens between women. Like I said before, there is a difference between having sex and making love. You could do the former with just about anyone, regardless of your preferences."

Playing the role of the drunk woman perfectly, Sakura asked a very invasive question in return.

"Have you ever done it with a man, then?" she asked.

Kakashi unwillingly recalled that one almost-fateful morning, trapped in a cramped tent with Gai, barely able to move, and hoping to the stars and beyond the bulge he felt wasn't what he thought it was.

"No, I'm strictly into women," he responded. "That goes for both sex and making love. I've never been interested in doing anything with a man."

Becoming even more invasive, Sakura went a little deeper into the subject.

"How many times have you made love?" she queried.

Kakashi had been somewhat dreading the question, but he replied to it without hesitation.

"Never," he answered calmly.

"Then how do you know there's a difference between making love and having sex?!"

Kakashi sighed, hoping this would bring the conversation to an end. He doubted he'd be that lucky. At this rate, they were going to end up discussing this for the entire evening. The evening itself, which had been slightly undesirable at the start, had migrated to downright unpleasant. He would have left if it hadn't been for the fact that it was better to wrap things up, rather than fleeing. Plus, despite how unpleasant it was, it was still a form of entertainment suitable as an alternate when he didn't have Make-Out Paradise at his disposal.

"Sakura, if we were to go into that alleyway and go at it like a couple of cats during mating season, that isn't what I would call "making love"," Kakashi replied slowly. "Making love is something you do slowly and gently, on a soft bed in the middle of the night. Sex is something you do with someone for whatever reason, then forget about it unless you forgot to use protection. That's all there is to it."

He added, in case there were any follow-ups,

"You'll have to take my word for it and wait until you find that special person."

He raised his own drink, which he hadn't touched until this moment, to his lips, mostly to be doing something with his hands. He frowned, remembering the mask obscuring the bottom half of his face. Slowly, he lowered the drink back to its position on the table. He was somewhat lamenting his fashion choice. While it at least diminished his need to shave, he wasn't too fond of it getting in the way of him drinking away several minutes worth of a conversation he wished hadn't taken place. In addition, he knew the hair on his chin had altered from attractive stubble to off-putting forest.

Sakura giggled, amused by Kakashi's abrupt ending of the conversation.

"You're really shy, aren't you?"

Annoyed, Kakashi shook his head and again reached for his drink. This time his hand was halfway to it before he once again remembered the mask.

"Not shy," he objected. "I just don't like talking about sex."

"Shy," Sakura corrected him, smirking.

"People should keep things like that to themselves."

"Nope, you're just shy."

"There's no need to tell the whole world about what happens in your bedroom!"

" _Really_ shy. Almost a prude."

Kakashi cleared his throat, the hint of a smile on his lips. Two could play that game and be partially victorious.

"So how about that alleyway?" he queried innocently.

"How about my fist down your throat, you pervert?"

"If that's what you're into, I'm sure I could make allowances. Just how far down my throat would you like it?"

"You're a truly insufferable, filthy….."

"Save the dirty talk for when our clothes are off, if you don't mind!"

They were grinning at one another, their moods cleared by the teasing. Sakura picked up her glass and held it aloft, her eyes alive with mischief. She realized that if Naruto or Sasuke had been present, none of this would have come to pass. They would have had their usual conversations, drank in their usual manner, and gone home with their usual emotions. There was no fun in any of that. This, as awkward as it had been, was _fun._

Kakashi raised his own glass, returning her smile. Perhaps an evening drinking with Sakura was more ideal than he thought.


End file.
